Beauty from Ashes: Part 2

     There is absolutely no way I could ever chronicle every single blessing that we have experienced since our house fire, but we have seen countless reminders of God's faithfulness to us.  I know so many other things will come to mind once I hit "Publish," but below are some of the ways we were so generously cared for:

• On the night of the fire when our friend walked the kids and me to the car to head over to his house, I was all out of sorts.  In typical Katy fashion, I didn't know what to say and exclaimed, "I just spent $5 on a sparkling water at the movies and didn't even get to drink it!" Because leave it to me to resort to inappropriately-timed jokes.  When I arrived at his house, he had picked up air mattresses for us, and handed me a sparkling Dasani that he probably had to get at Quik Trip.  It's something silly that was so thoughtful.  
• While we thought we were handling things fairly well, I do tend to get stress paralyzed and unable to handle simple logistics.  My new roommate divvied up the laundry we grabbed from the house among our community group friends who washed and returned them a day later.  A friend literally washed and folded Dave's underwear and never said an awkward word about it.
• I texted my boss that we had a fire and everyone was ok, but I would be out for the week.  She responded, "I have about 37 questions but those can all wait until later.  I know you'll have a lot of stuff going on.  Please feel free to drop Jon off for this week even if you're out."  
• Shortly after moving in with our friends, Dave and I attended a dinner that was a prior commitment.  When we arrived back home, they had surprised us with a bed and our own bedroom!  They arranged transporting a bed from another friend's house without ever saying anything.  (Although to be honest, it was difficult for me at first to move downstairs.  My first instinct was to have my little herd within arm's reach). We eventually used the same number of rooms for our family as our friends did in their own home.
• Another church friend took donations from our community group and gave us an unbelievably generous gift card to help us get back on our feet the day after the fire.  
• I felt the added responsibility to use our loved ones' money wisely, so I still agonized over purchases.  I wore my kids' socks for at least a week before I finally went to buy some for myself.  I ran into a church friend at Target and mentioned that I decided it was ok to buy socks.  She snuck up behind me in the checkout line and paid for everything I had.  I tried to hold it together while walking out and then cried in the parking lot.
• I went to Walmart and bought the girls each two t-shirts and one pair of shorts.  This was all they had for about a week, so they went to dance in shorts and a t-shirt.  I didn't mention anything specifically to the instructors, but Myla told her teacher we had a fire.  Her teacher later called me and said they were praying for us, and if there's anything they can do to let them know.  Then, she called back and waived our tuition for the rest of the spring.  I cried on the phone when she told me.  The owner even called this fall when she saw we were enrolled again and wanted to check and see how we're doing before charging anything to our card for the new year.  My girls may or may not never become elite dancers, but I will never forget the kindness of the beautiful ladies who work at their studio.
• Our roommates walked through some difficult conversations alongside us and never said anything about all the snot and tears that poured from me on more than one occasion.
• My prayer partner went for a walk with me, listened to my problems, and told me, "I just want to tell you that Jesus sees you and He loves you." Those were words I needed at that moment.
• A friend asked what the kids need, and I finally broke down and told her we could use some pajamas for the kids. She texted my roommate because she knew we needed more than that.  They guessed my pants size correctly and gifted us way more than just pajamas.  I received clothes from friends and neighbors.  A teacher stuck a giant bag of girls' clothes into my car in the carpool pick-up line.  I am still wearing many of the clothes that people gifted me.
• Remember Maxwell, the rabbit who lived? Well, two different families kept him for us.  One of our friends kept him for months!  He even chewed through their TV cord on the night of the Game of Thrones finale.  Shockingly, our friendship remains intact.
• We received gift cards and well wishes from teachers, dance teachers, old friends, new friends, and family members of friends who have never even met us.  It got to the point where I'd tell Dave something else that happened, and he'd ask, "Did you cry in public again?"  Yes, yes I did.
• Most of our kids' toys were considered non-restorable, so we moved into our new home without many kid things.  A friend let me go through their play room and take whatever we wanted.  He also gave us a Christmas tree, which I was overly excited about.  (We bought our first tree last year after Christmas when things go on sale.  We never got to use it).

     These are just some of our Ebenezer stones.  I told Dave that though we had been in town for over a year and had found people we got along with well, many friendships hadn't progressed to a deeper level (which I know takes time).  I mentioned that I hoped that someone would become vulnerable in some way so we could all rally around them and grow closer as a group.  What I didn't realize is that we'd be the family that would become vulnerable.

     This whole experience has changed us.  When I talked to my girls the other day about a school fundraiser and they were consumed with the potential prizes they want to earn, I could point back to this road we've walked.  

"Remember when we had our fire and all of those people helped us?  They helped us even though we couldn't do anything for them in return.  They gave us things we needed when we couldn't return the favor." Whether it landed with them or not, I could tell them that when we have the opportunity to be generous, we can do it without thinking about what's in it for us.  I hope I never forget how humbling it is to receive while having nothing to offer but a "thank you."

"Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, “Thus far the Lord has helped us.” --1 Samuel 7:12

Beauty from Ashes: Part 1

     One of my New Year's goals is to blog more.  This past year was a weird year.  I don't know how else to put it.

     On March 23, 2019, I went with some ladies to the see a movie.  Dave stayed home with the kids.  My phone rang right before the previews started, and when I saw it was Dave, I picked up.  It's not typical that he would call when I just left the house.  

"Hello?"

"Our house is literally burning down.  You need to come home right now.  This is not a joke."

     So, I looked at my friends and said, "Dave just said our house is on fire...I gotta go."

     I ran to my car and started the drive home.  I prayed and sang and told myself that I had to drive safely because getting into a car accident would make everything worse.  

"Jesus, Jesus

You make the darkness tremble

Jesus, Jesus

You silence fear...

Your name is a light that the shadows can't deny

Your name cannot be overcome"

     When I was still on the road, Dave texted that everyone was ok, and a huge flood of relief came at that point.  Nothing else mattered if my people were ok.  On our street, I had to park several houses away, as it was filled with fire trucks.  Neighbors stood out in their yards trying to figure out what was going on, and I was the only one speed walking toward the action.  I saw Dave in the yard and hugged him tightly.  He sent me into our next door neighbor's house where the kids were. That's when the tears came, because those are my babies.  My BABIES. They are irreplaceable.  My next door neighbors are the most precious and cool grandparents ever who were letting the kids watch Coco and giving them Oreos.

     When I left the theater, my friend at the movie theater called another who stayed home that night to fill her in. When she said out loud, "What, the Livingstons' house is on fire?!" her husband stood up and walked out to drive over.  He beat me to my house.  Once I had gathered my bearings (and my babies), he said, "This is going to be a lot of waiting around.  Why don't you take the kids to our house and stay over?"

We did stay over.  For three and a half months.     

     Dave had put the kids to bed when I left.  He was watching tv and noticed some smoke outside our back window.  This isn't entirely rare, as our neighbor tended to pull his grill out to the driveway when he smoked meat.  Dave thought he'd walk through our (attached, swing) garage and check on Joe's grill, but when he opened the door into our garage, it was ablaze.  He hollered at all the kids to get out and pulled Jon out of bed.  Myla later told me that Dad got all the kids outside the front door and said to go to the sidewalk, but sleepy JD wasn't moving.  So my 8-year-old carried her 4-year-old brother down to the sidewalk where our neighbors intercepted them.

     Our fire station is nearby, and everyone was wonderful.  Things were under control by the time I arrived home.  Our stinking rabbit Max even survived.  Poor little dude's only survival tactic was to hop into his cage and cower there.  I watched the firefighters carry his cage out of the house.  The majority of the fire damage took place in the garage, but due to smoke and water damage, a couple of other rooms were pretty marred.

     When I carried Jon David out to the car, he saw all the firetrucks and said, "What happened?" "Our house caught fire, buddy," I answered.  He looked at me wide-eyed, and said, "What?" Poor little dude had no idea. 

 (Through that door is the little 6ft utility area.  The next room belonged to my girls).

          That is the short version of the story.  The long version would show so many ways God has taken care of us and blessed us through this experience.  We have gotten to a point where we can laugh and joke about it, but when I put myself back in that car ride home, singing and praying that everything would be alright, the fear is still visceral.  I am a person who envisions worst-case scenarios, and I believe that God made a worst-case scenario happen while I wasn't there for a reason.

     The fire inspector came late that night and stayed for at least an hour and a half.  He could not pinpoint the cause, and the official report lists it as "unknown."

     In the months following, we were overwhelmed with love and tangible help from our community.  I can't wait to write down all of the things that people did to come alongside us and carry our burdens with us.  But that's a story for another day.

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

because the Lord has anointed me

to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners, ^a

to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor

and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,

and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of joy

instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the Lord

for the display of his splendor."