Anecdotes: When Facebook is Gone and I revert to Blogging

     No one may read this, because I usually link blog posts onto Facebook, but Facebook and I are taking a little break for now.  Don't worry, it's an amicable split from which I shall return.  But I know it's probably keeping Mark Zuckerberg up at night thinking about his one customer who has yet to foray into Instagram or Twitter, and don't even get me started on Snapchat.  I'll be one of those parents who has to attend class at the library to find out how to work devices pretty soon. 

What I've been reading...

     As is turns out, giving up social media has left me with more time to read.  Additionally, I have a newfound freedom where I allow myself to walk away from a book I'm not enjoying.  I have to talk myself into taking the leap each time, but with so many worthwhile things to read, why force yourself through something you don't connect with?  I'm not in school anymore, so take that, teachers.  (Just kidding, teachers, I love you so much.) Sadly, the book I recently walked away from is Hidden Figures.  I have yet to see the movie (though I really want to), but I expected the book to be a narrative that dives into the lives of the group of African American women who were vital to computing for NASA. While the book did begin to introduce the women before I quit reading, it wasn't as personal as I expected.  It is well-researched and well-written, but it reads more as an all-inclusive picture of the era. It is interesting, but didn't quite keep me hooked enough to forge through.  It reads like a verrry long newspaper article.  If you are into this type of nonfiction, you will love it.  It's just not for me.

     As a Judy Blume fan growing up, I was so excited to see that she'd written a book for adults.  Has this been happening?  How did I just find out?!  In the Unlikely Event is a novel set in Elizabeth, New Jersey in the 1950's and looks into how 3 plane crashes in the town affected the lives of the people forever.  I did not realize the historical accuracy of the plane crashes themselves until after I finished the book.  I wanted this to be a home run read, but for me, it wasn't.  I will say that Judy Blume is still a fantastic storyteller.  I cared about the characters, and I was never bored.  That said, this book has SO many characters.  There are many, "Wait, who is that?  Should I remember them?" moments.  When you aren't great with names, this can be tricky.  The ending is realistic rather than overly optimistic, so you can judge whether you'd be a fan based on that.

     Finally, I just finished When Breath Becomes Air.  Everyone, please read this book.  It is an achingly beautiful look into life, death, and relationships as told by Paul Kalanithi, a talented neurosurgeon who was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer in his 30's.  This book was published after his death.  He was one of those rare breeds of surgeon who also has the gift of words.  I don't know how this peek into death can be so honest and deep and yet not leave you with the burden of darkness weighing on you, but it does just that.  Reading time is only a few hours, so go for it. 

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A Glimpse into the Mind of my Animal-Loving Daughter

     We just started watching Wildlife SOS on Netflix because I can't stomach cartoons anymore.  It's a British reality show about an animal rehabilitation center.  During one of our first episodes, an adorable badger cub came into the center.  Unfortunately, he died from his injuries.  I glanced over at Piper, because she has such a soft heart and is definitely the one of my children who loves animals and snuggly things the most.

"I wonder if she's going to be upset," I thought.  "Is she going to cry over this?" I wondered.

I looked at her as she called to the vet on the television, "Just keep the body!"

     She has mentioned that she wants to be a rancher when she grows up, but she may have a future in the field of taxidermy. 

32 Things: A Birthday Edition

1. It's my thirty-second birthday.  I can only form thoughts in bulleted lists at this point, so here we are.
2. Not feeling well last night, I went to bed at 7:45 after doping up on Aleve, Benadryl, and my daughter's expired inhaler.
3. When I woke up, surprises did abound!
4. Dave cleaned up JD's pee sheets, because it's my birthday.  Also, he does stuff like that anyway, and I love that about him.
5. First, I received this lovely crown. 
   
6. Let's not forget the birthday sign(s). #spellingishard
   
7. Do yourself a favor and buy a "Happy Birthday" sign from the Dollar Tree.  Keep it.  Use it for every birthday until it breaks.  
   
8. We had a cinnamon roll "cake" for breakfast, because Dave can bake things.
9. I wore leggings as pants, because I just want to live my life.
10. The ride to school was a karaoke concert of The Greatest Showman soundtrack, because I bought the music to prepare before seeing the movie this weekend.
11. This just in: I do not sound like Keala Settle.
12. I went to Aldi with my sidekick kid.  The checker handed me my chocolate rather than throwing it into the basket, because she figured it was important to me and didn't want it to break. Bless her.  May she also one day have such a caring cashier when she buys herself a birthday treat at the discount grocery store.
    
13. I bought an iced mocha on the way home, because you know why. 
    
14. My family worked all week to give me this gift that keeps on giving! 
    
15. I had this cute, disgusting lunch buddy. 
    
16. I read through birthday messages and smiled a lot.
17. I momentarily forgot what the (Ctrl + ) shortcut is to "cut" something while writing this.  It seriously took at least 3 incorrect attempts to figure it out again.
18. I never ate lunch, so I grabbed a kiddie cup of cashews to take through the carpool pick-up line.
19. I brought along the book I'm reading currently.
20. Myla's teacher, who is an absolute angel, poked her head into my car window during pick-up and said, "I was going to email you.  Myla hasn't been doing her homework, and I thought that's not like her.  I made her do some of it in class today."  Cue my shame. Because I want to care about this, but I just do not.  Isn't it enough that I feed her everyday?
21. Myla is a rule follower who is now disappointed in my lack of commitment to homework, so I appeased her by adding a new daily alarm for "Homework Time."  
22. I ordered myself new running shoes.  Because sometimes I run.  Sometimes.  I forwarded Dave the confirmation email and said, "Thank you for my birthday present!"  That works for us.
23. I tried to figure out my Enneagram Type.  I might be a 6 with a 5 wing, but I'm not entirely sure.  Why is it so confusing?!
24. I listened to a podcast with a panel of type 6 people, because that's apparently a thing you can do.
25. My sister thinks I'm a total weirdo any time I talk about podcasts.
26. I gave some love to my neighbor's dog, and yes, that is a highlight, because that dog freaking rocks.  I love her.
27. Dave has to work a little late, so he'll miss dinner.  This means I'm shifting the meal plan.
28. Pro tip: If you are single-parenting during the dinner hour, feed the kids something they won't complain about.  Repeat after me: minimum effort to maximum payoff.  That's how you choose what to make for dinner.
29. These are ingredients for an acceptable dinner: 
    
30. Yes, I'm eating it too, because nostalgia.  Also, yum.
31. It's almost kid bedtime.
32. Seriously, look at this cuteness:

Lucky Number Seven!

Dear Myla,

     Despite our claims that we wanted to cancel your birthday, it has come and gone.  Every year since you turned five has felt super weird because you're a big kid now.  In fact, I'm venturing completely out of baby/toddler world into real kid world, and it's weird.  One consolation is that our house is now at 80% for people who wipe their own butts. Praise be.

     Earlier this year, when asking about your birthday party, you consistently wanted to go roller skating and and eat at Olive Garden.  DEAL.  That is precisely the kind of celebration we can make happen.  Though we didn't have a real party, we did just move closer to cousin Weston, so we invited him along for the ride!

     Just for reference, you and Weston started off together as little old grumpy men:

(Christmas 2010)

     Look at y'all now!

     All of the roller skating photos are blurry, because you were going so fast.

     Myla, it's been a really good year.  You are such a helpful big sister, and I have to stop myself from letting you do all the parenting around here.

     My favorite thing that has happened this year is that you have learned how to read!  Let's be real here: you have not (yet) struggled in school at all, but you haven't been a child prodigy either, so you began this year just on track with phonetic awareness.  But I turned around one day this year, and you were reading a book-- a real book!  I wanted to call all of our family and shout it from the rooftops.  Bless your teachers for whatever magic they have used to bring us to this point.

Some of the things you have been loving this year are: 

• wearing your bathrobe over your pajamas
• tracking your steps
• Youtube ballet lessons
• riding your bike
• Sunday Sundaes-- Our family's (totally copied from a friend) solution for desserts.  I always say, if I offered you $5 million dollars tomorrow or ice cream right now, you'd pick the ice cream every time.  

Things you are still working on:

• swimming independently
• tying your shoes
• doing your own ponytail
• not arguing with your poor, tired mother 

     Myla, we love you so much. From the first moments when you tricked us into thinking parenting was easy to now when we realize the truth, you have been a joy.  You are the child who showed us how our parents turn insane from the love of a grandchild.  Seriously.  They cannot be stopped.

   I'm glad you're mine.  I love you, Stinkyface.

Mom 

These are a Few of My Favorite Things: the 2017 Edition

Spoiler alert: YOU will not be getting a car!  YOU will not be getting a car! You will ALL NOT be getting a car!

     This has been a big year of change for us, so I thought I would record a few things I have been enjoying this year.  As you'll see, these are little things I'm personally loving that have nothing to do with the overall well-being of my family.  But those punks can get their own blogs if they want to share profound ideas with the world.

And without further ado:

1.  Coffee.  My love for coffee has continued to grow to the point where I simply can't understand why people live without it.  By God's grace, I do have one friend who doesn't drink coffee, but I don't know how to make more.  I mean, if we can't drink coffee together, what are we even supposed to do?!  (I'll shamelessly plug my non-drinker Andrea here, because she has a lovely blog filled with great tips for any caregiver or parent).  Back to coffee.  We french press at home every morning, and I started making cold brew last year for an afternoon treat. But the newest addition to my coffee paraphernalia family is this precious little pour over. I love that it's cheap, reusable, easy to clean, and doesn't need any special filters.  Need I say more?

2.  The Library.  Don't laugh.  I know the library isn't a new concept, but nonetheless, it took me until this year to figure out how to check out digital books from the local library.  As some of you know, I finally switched to a regular kindle for most of my leisure reading, and since then, I have been sifting through all of the free Amazon books to find something I like.  This doesn't bother me too much, but it does mean that I read a lot of "Book 1" of a series I will never finish. Additionally, I have to scroll through titles like Her Two Wolves: Menage Werewolf Biker Romance or Tapping the Billionaire before finding something worthwhile.  But I let my fear of apps hold me back for too long!  I have now tasted the goodness of reading a bestseller for free, and I can never look back (even if I'm frustrated that it takes more than 2 steps to do so). 

3.  Mom Struggling Well.  I am not a big podcast person, but I have listened to a few over the years.  So far, I have strictly stuck to podcasts with a simple interview format, and that's exactly what this is.  With moving recently and feeling lonely at times, it helps me immensely for my media time to be life-giving rather than completely mind-numbing.  Don't get me wrong-- I love to take some time to mentally check out, but sometimes I can tell it's only hurting me rather than helping me to be refreshed.  At low points, I may have told Dave once or twice that this podcast is the only thread holding me to Jesus.  I know that sounds terrible, but in a drought where I'm not reading the bible regularly or praying deeply, I can listen to the podcast while folding laundry and be encouraged that I am seen and fully known by a God who loves me.  Emily Thomas is an awkward, genuine person who always manages to bring the truth of God's word into her interviews, and I always come away encouraged.  I laugh a little too, because she's a weirdo (in a good way).  Because those are my kind of people.

4.  Youtube Beauty Gurus.  Y'all, I can't even believe I'm saying this, and I don't even know how it happened.  But somehow, I stumbled into the wide world of Youtubers while looking for some sort of skincare review, and now I can't leave.  I have never worn a winged eyeliner or tried any contouring in my adult life, and yet I sit and watch girls put on and talk about makeup.  There is no good explanation for this.  I will say that I have tried to limit myself somewhat (because of the life-giving versus life-sucking ways to spend time), but two channels that I seem to keep watching are Thataylaa and JAMBeauty89.  Taylor from Thataylaa has a monotone style that relaxes me for some reason, and she partners with Project Beauty Share, which is a non-profit where you can donate gently used makeup and feminine hygiene products.  Jessica from JAMBeauty89 is an endearing teacher who makes frequent trips to Disney with her husband who loves the Golden Girls.  What's not to like about these two? 

5. When Calls the Heart.  Yeah, I said it.  I suppose I could call this a guilty pleasure, but I am way past the point of being embarrassed by my television preferences.  This year, Dave has traveled a fair amount, and when I'm home alone at night, I don't want to watch anything that can spook me in the slightest.  When Calls the Heart is all the cheesy wholesomeness you'd expect from the Hallmark channel.  As a bonus for those of you who miss Aunt Becky from Full House, Lori Loughlin is a main character.  Seriously, don't watch this with your husband.  I 100% guarantee that he will not enjoy it. 

6.  This Calendar.    I technically bought myself this calendar at Half-Priced Books on a whim in 2016 while doing a little retail therapy after Texas lost to Oklahoma.  Too much information?  Anyway, I prefer a real calendar for my daily life.  We still use Google calendars, but my google calendar isn't staring me in the face while I pour my coffee in the morning.  This calendar served me well for all of 2017, and alas, I have had to move on to a new year.  My favorite features are: the strong magnetic strip that allowed me to hang it on my refrigerator, and the front pocket.  That may sound silly, but it enabled me to stick little birthday invitations or info sheets about school events right into the calendar pocket rather than littering the counter with them or sticking 75 separate things on the fridge.  It also came with little stickers like "Doctor's Appointment" or "Vacation" that you could use if you're into that kind of thing.

That's it for 2017.  I know your life is changed!  Cheers to a New Year.

(Note: Any link shown is not an affiliate link of any kind.  We all know I'm not responsible enough to figure out how to make any money by blogging).

A Livingston Christmas through the Ages

     Let's pretend that I'm not making a new blog post whilst slacking on Myla's birthday letter.  It is what it is. (Note to Self: This should be the title of my memoir).

     I have this thing where I love Christmas, but I was thrown so quickly into home ownership and adulthood, that I never mastered seasonal decorating. (Or decorating of any kind, really).  I can no longer use my youth as an excuse for my lack of commitment to Christmas decor, but let's just say my particular combination of frugality and laziness has kept me stunted in the decorating department.  

     It all started 7 years ago...

     On our first Christmas as a married couple, Dave and I were about to celebrate our first anniversary.  Oh, and we had a two-week-old baby. We found a janky three-foot tree in my parent's garage, and voila!  'Tis the season.  Our tree topper was a piece of cardboard cut into the shape of a star, covered in foil, and clipped to the tree with a bag clip.  

     We clearly took the time in 2010 to put this wee one into a basket and attempt some themed photos.  

      If you'll notice here, our wonky tree is decorated with a few real ornaments as well as pieces of ribbon that I probably took from baby shower gifts.  Because you know, reduce/reuse/recycle. 

     Another one of the unconventional ornaments that our tree proudly carried were these little mittens, whom some of you may remember as a Starbucks gift card holder from years gone by.

      And shockingly, we took the time to make this lady a hilarious shirt that she actually wore unabashedly out in public.  This is why we love her.  

     Through the next couple of years, we added some kids but apparently added no personal motivation.  We continued to rock the wonky little tree, and although generous grandparents gave us a few real ornaments to work with, the girls enjoyed adding their personal flair.

     Perhaps the sweetest gift of all was when Grandma Sue gave us a solution to our "small house" problem.  (Note: our first house wasn't really that small, but it didn't have a great place to put any kind of tree).

Enter: beautiful tree quilt decorated with foam dollar store ornaments by this proud little lady!

     Fast forward to today.  We ended up buying a couple of artificial trees on clearance last January, and when we pulled them out, the kids were thrilled!  They each have a tree of their own, and Jon David is still rocking the orphaned garage tree.  Since we haven't set any decorating precedent, they took it upon themselves to design their trees, and I never want to forget this preciousness that surrounds me right now.  

Exhibit A: Piper's homemade horse ornament

 Stock photo Santa baby. (Myla's baby hand print is actually on the other side, but she chose to display this kid).

 Myla's tree topper solution

 JD's much-loved tree

This is clearly an Astros baseball cap ornament. 

More homemade goodness

Thanks to preschool last year, Piper has a real ornament!

 Let's not forget the dollar store additions.

 One year, my friend had pity on me and gave us a box of Christmas decorations.  She had already reached the point of needing to pare down.  So now we have this lovely wooden reindeer who gallantly watches over Piper's tree at night.

Can we all just take a moment to see what happens when the teacher tries to take a photo of Piper?  This is hanging in the hallway at school.

Finally, Myla and Jon decided to make a paper chain (modeled after a school project of Piper's).  They spent quite a while working together and tearing strips of paper to make this.  

So, as the sign says, I bid you all a "Mary Crismas!"

Jon David is THREE!

Dear Jon David,

If you measure my love for you based on the amount of photographs I take rather than my blogging punctuality, we will be fine.  (Actually, I've procrastinated with all of your birthday posts the past couple of years, so the good news is that I care or don't care about you all equally).

Bub, you are showered with more love and affection than any child I know.  I don't understand how you became so spoiled, but it happened.  Let's all just move on.  On a typical day, Myla gets you dressed and ready, and I can't even muster up any guilt over that.  Every time we drop your sisters off at school, you tell me, "Mommy, I miss the girls.  Can we go to school?" You love going to school with me whenever we help the teachers, and you find it imperative that we pack you a backpack and a lunch box so you can be like everyone else.  I'm not sure how I will be able to keep you happy at home for the next 2.5 years.  You're ready to be in the mix.

This year, we have spent a lot of time at the park.  You're weirdly strong and coordinated.  You must get that from me.

With you, I have finally found a willing pho companion, so we go out to lunch almost weekly.  Nothing fills you with more pride than using kiddie chopsticks.  And nothing fills your clothes with more noodles.  Ah well.

By the way, I take pictures of you when you sleep.  Parents love their children more when they are asleep.  It's science.

We have been attending Yoga Storytime at the library, because apparently that exists.  It's a normal story time with fun poses mixed in.  You're a fan.

How do you know when it's time to leave the park?  Answer:

Sometimes, I'll go out to the backyard only to find something like this.  These are the moments that I'm just glad we're in our own yard.  Suffice it to say, you're the first of my children to ride the balance bike in the nude.

We watched a lot of baseball this year, because WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS, BABY!

We love you, Jon David!  I'm going to smoosh your face and kiss you right on the mouth for as long as you'll let me.

Love, 
Mom

Here I Raise my Ebenezer

     Last year, I was wondering how and where to start volunteering, and lo and behold, I read that my former roommate co-founded The Way Home Adoption.  When Ashley, the co-founder and volunteer coordinator called me with a potential case of 3 little girls aged 5, 6, and 7, I felt a sense of relief and agreed right away.  This type of case is a rarity at The Way Home, as they focus mainly on teenagers at risk of ageing out of the system.  Ashley decided to make the leap since these little ladies had already been in foster care for quite a while.  I thought this would be a good starter case for me.  Younger kids, less nerves.  (My general philosophy is that kids are weirdos, so you can't be that fearful of looking dumb around them.  They don't care!)

      My first meeting with the girls occurred in October of 2016.  Little did I know that Dave would be laid off that week.  His final day in the office would be at the end of November, and we had no idea where we would end up after that.  I confessed my concerns to Ashley, and we decided that I would continue with the girls as long as possible and keep her posted on our plans. The possibility that I would have to move away with this unfinished business ate away at me, though.

     About the girls: they are spunky and wild and beautiful.  The first time Ashley and I met them, one of them looked at me, paused, and very innocently asked, "Are you white?"  I was a little taken aback, but answered, "Yes, I am."  Right after that, she curiously asked me, "What did they teach you in white school?"  You guys, this was 15 minutes from my house.  Culture shock is right outside your door.  The best part about it, though, is that kids are honest.  They ask, you answer, and we learn from each other.  

     My time on their case has mostly consisted of meeting regularly with them to chat, taking them on a few small outings, and reading their social work file (all in order to help find them a permanent home).  As an aside, this short experience has made me confront my feelings and my stance on the value of life.  When I see or hear people talk about "unwanted children" being better off aborted than to suffer in this world, I think of these little girls.  They live in this broken world and have experienced things that no child should EVER have to experience.  Despite all of that, they are vibrant, rambunctious, and full of life.  Could I look one of them in the face and say, "You never should have been born?"  No, I can't.

     Anyway, I began to pray that God would take care of these girls and that we would find a family for them.  I chatted with them about what they like to do and found out they spent a lot of time at church with their foster mom.  They seemed to like music, so I asked about the songs they sing at church.  I rattled off a few worship songs to see if I could guess one they they liked, and somehow found out they sing "Break Every Chain" a lot.  That became my prayer for them this year.  I just prayed that God would break every chain in their lives.  

     It became clear that we would be moving somewhere (though we still didn't know where, exactly) around June.  I really didn't want to be another person who came into the girls' lives only to turn around and leave.  But we carried on through the unknown. I received a completely unexpected email in March that a potential adoptive family was found.  The general steps would be: parents read the case file and decide whether to proceed or not.  That would move on to short visits (like to McDonald's), then on to overnight visits.  Ashley estimated about a 50% chance of whether parents would proceed after reading the file.  Two families had already stopped after this point, and I can honestly understand why.  I just prayed.

     Then I received the message that the family was choosing to continue the process, and if all went well, the girls would be placed in June.  Y'all, I had nothing to do with the recruitment of this family.  Yes, I wanted to be the person to find them a family, but I wasn't.  And that's ok.  God showed me that he was taking care of it all.  

     The girls are currently living with their adoptive parents in another town, so they didn't experience me leaving them. Best case scenario, their adoption will be finalized in the fall.  Will it be all roses and sunshine at that point?  No.  But I my prayer for them is that they will learn the meaning of family, and they will be be known and truly loved.

"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy!" Psalm 126:3